One of my dearest friends has kept a journal since middle school. Inspired by her dedication to this rose-colored past time, I followed suit (albeit sporadically). Since I was 19 years old, I’ve had the same journal. Mostly stuffed with pics of places I’d traveled, rants about exes (anyone else find that break ups make you a super diligent journaler?), and passages about work and the like. As I sifted through my not-so-little-anymore journal on my 30th birthday, two things seemed to stand out: (1) I have been and clearly am still searching for that ever-elusive “life’s purpose” in my work entries; and, (2) I sure like to make lists. Buckets lists. Life goal lists. New Year’s Resolutions lists. Lists of arcane names I love for future children/adopted animals. Lists of guys I’d hanky pankied with (but that’s neither here nor there). And though through the years, I felt I was doing a pretty good job moving through these lists, this recent flip through showed me that there were many recurring, unfulfilled, and time-sensitive goals I was just too damn chicken (no offense, chickens) to make a reality. These goals were and still are near and dear to who I really am, and yet so outside of the professional spheres in which I applied most of my time. Bottom line: They were clearly important enough to keep making the lists for 10 plus years:
These items may resemble your own bucket list (I know yoga and ashram visits have gained popularity over the last decade). Perhaps you hate bucket lists. But what I find so interesting is that I was feverishly working my way up the government consulting ladder while I was holding these aspirations in my Ann Taylor suit pocket. What was holding me back? Why hadn’t I done these things? After all, the fulfilled items on my bucket list turned out to be some of the best things I’d ever, ever done. And, I truly believe those less mundane (we’re not talking about buying detergent here), “checked off” items were so nourishing and fulfilling because (a) they came from my gut, and (b) I pursued them excitedly and without fear:
Money. Lifestyle. Expectation. Fear that people won’t accept you if you’re pursuing something outside the status quo. These may sound silly in theory, but they’re all viable, palpable reasons that probably have stymied me for nearly a decade. Fear is sneaky. Before you know it, you find yourself on any given workday staring, eyes glazed over, at Facebook or some online shopping or, even worse, celebrity gossip website, getting through the day only to rush from work to the Nordstrom Rack just to get some relief from feeling like your 9-5 (or 8-6, as it were) is meaningless. When the brightest spot in your weekday daylight hours, everyday, is lunch (and hey, sometimes you have a seriously kick ass sandwich and I get it), something is wrong. I was uninspired, tired, and feeling lost, and though I know this feeling ain’t unique, boy oh boy, can it make you feel lonesome. Not one to be mired in a pity party for long, I decided to get real, and make a plan.
After having clear documentation (if you can call a tattered journal “clear documentation”) of my denial of who I want to be, I did a check in: How much longer do I want to be doing this (“This” being government consulting, which is fine and good, if you dig it, but it ain’t me)? Can I wait another five years? Well, that sank like a lead balloon. You see, once you discover what you not only want to be doing, but what you should be doing, it is damn hard to suppress that. And AMEN to that!!! So, when volunteering for years with animal organizations just didn’t feel like enough, and my passion for a compassionate lifestyle really came to the fore, shilling for anything else went from tolerable to almost excruciating.
So, I’m doing a charming “leap and the net will appear” kind of thing. Quit my super-lucrative, but soul-sucking job, move apartments, and lead a simplified, but still glam and fun life. Don’t get me wrong, it’s all very exhilarating. It’s also scary as fuck. Emotions all over the place. But aren’t those the signs of a break thru, or that you’re on the right path? I certainly hope so. Anyway, The Little Foxes is a part of this master (or not so masterful?) plan. It’s a way for me to playfully channel my passion and real expertise to make cruelty-free living the new standard, while also keeping things fresh, honest, and fun. And I’m not alone; If you check out the “Blogs I Follow” pane, you’ll find lots of other fun n’ flirty blogs that will not only help you kill time at your own soul-suck job, but will also get you PUMPED about living the glam life with a conscience.
The time for animal rights is here. I believe it so firmly that I’ve leapt without a net to join the movement and spread the good word. By liking and following this blog, you will help reaffirm each day that this was the right decision – not only for me, but for the animals, the planet, and the millions of other people out there who stare longingly at their computer screens, thinking about their bucket lists and craving inspiration. Thanks for your friendship, ideas, and support!